Goodbye Mimsy

So, usually Heidi snags the pictures of events and blogs about them before I do. This means I end up saying something about how Heidi blogged about X so if you want to read about X follow the link to her blog. But not this time (bwah ha ha). I did the damage; I did the leg work to get the pictures; I'm going to post first (and then she'll post and it'll be more nuanced and I'll hang my head in shame and go back to my cave.)

We also found out what the number-crunchers had to say about the value of our van. If you're interested, that'll come after the pictures.

The damage was extremely localized to this side of the van. Even the front passenger door was pretty much untouched.

See that "square" of plastic? Somewhere in the wreck, that whole rear-most window either popped out or disintegrated completely.

This is the inside where Anneke almost always sits when she's in the car. I get a little sick when I think about what this might have done to her if she had been with me.

On the Las Vegas DMV proof of title, it lists an MSRP (manufacturer's suggested retail price) of $26,865. Now, we didn't really expect to get all of that since the value of our van has obviously dropped since then. However, that MSRP was apparently based on when the car was brand spanking new or something. Whoever it was that checked Mimsy over to see what she was worth decided that it was a little less than that. So, our budget for our next car is . . . . $10,169.38. That factors in a $1,000 deductible which I will be supplementing with the contents of my motorcycle fund. This brings our grand total to $11, 169.38. We're trying to stick as close to that number as we find feasible. If we manage to do that, we'll actually end up owning our car clean and clear from the moment we drive it off the lot. That'd be nice and free up a fair amount of income for to survive better on.

The question we have now is this: do we want to try to replace Mimsy with a vehicle that we intend to drive until it falls apart (what we intended to do with Mimsy) or do we want to get something that will survive for now with the understanding that Marcus will outgrow the back seat in four years or so? Whaddaya think?

Cool Poster

I stumbled across this through a friend on Facebook. I think it's funny. You should too.

I have to warn you that the site itself (listed on the side of the image) isn't censored and there is some foul language and crude jokes. Having said that, this one's awesome.

In other news, we heard that our van will probably be totaled. This may be a good thing though, as we bought Mimsy for a whole lot less than she was worth. We may be able to replace her for less than the insurance payout for the wreck. Maybe. I don't understand all the legalese, but our company, USAA, has been very good to work with thus far and I'm hoping that will continue.

It's Just a Flesh Wound

Since auto accidents are not conducive to the scholastic mindset, and since waiting for your insurance company to call exacerbates this issue, I have opted to try to catharsize my wreck in blog form so that I can maybe get something productive done today afterwards. I apologize for any vagaries, but I'm not sure how much of this blog could be admissible in court and, while the reporting officer cited me as at fault, I'd like to give myself as much legal wriggle room as possible.

Here's what happened (at least as I remember it):

I was turning left from Tropicana (one of Vegas' main roads) onto Burnham (a less than main road). I had an obstructed view of oncoming traffic, but was pretty sure I had room to make the turn. It was only after I had committed to the turn that I saw the Jeep coming at me. I tried to clear the intersection by gunning it (which the officer mentioned was the best I could have done in that situation). Unfortunately, that wasn't going to cut it.

They talk about time slowing down in these kinds of situations. They're half right. I don't think it's so much time slowing down as the brain working faster. I was able to realize that I was going to get hit and it wasn't going to be pleasant. I got a vague sense of the driver of the other car having the same realization.

I got hit.

My van spun 180 degrees. During the trajectory of the spin, I had enough time to recognize that I was only on two wheels and that I could actually see the surface of the road out the driver's side window. I knew that I was imbalanced enough that I just might end up on the side. I tried to brace for impact--though I had no idea how exactly to prepare for that kind of thing), but our wonderful van opted to save me from that pain and righted itself. She came to rest with both passenger side tires on the curb of the sidewalk facing the opposite direction we had been heading.

I took time to take stock of my situation and to assess the other driver's wellness and attitude. He got out of the car, took a look and smiled. So, I got out of the car also. We checked on each other, relieved to find out no one got hurt (both of us were wearing seat belts). Even his dog was okay. She ended up staying in our car for a while since his was still poking out into the intersection a little bit.

I had been headed to the church building. Several of the youth came out to check on us, as well as all of the leaders and the missionaries who were there. There wasn't much they could do, so they went back inside.

There was a lot of waiting.

After we settled things out, Saul (the other driver) and I hitched a ride home. Heidi was worried about me. I apologized. We were offered several loaner vehicles/rides, but a friend who lived close called and said he was going to be by to drop off their spare car. We'll be using that until we get it all settled out with Mimsy (the name of our van who may or may not pull through (cross your fingers)).

While the situation was really unpleasant itself, I shared in the accident with a very pleasant person and it's helped me to realize how strong a support structure I have. I've had offers of help from members of our ward and from my academic colleagues. I know there are others who would be willing to help if I called on them. My family has been in touch and offered their love and support. I've been kinda whiney lately, and I won't deny that we're going through one of the less-sunny times in our life as a family, but I had my eyes opened to how good I have it because the people around us love and care about us.

This accident is going to set us back quite a bit financially. I expect it will completely drain the money I had saved up toward an eventual motorcycle. But I know that I am rich in friends and family and that no accident can take that away.

My body works, my wife loves me and we'll get through this together.

Now I need to go read about a mouse and a cookie with my daughter. I can do that.

Whee-hah

A colleague told me a couple of days ago that one of the best exercises that prepared her for her comps was blogging. So, I'm going to prep a little by sharing what's on my mind and tying in another request for advice. (and just so you know, that title comes from a sound my kiddles make when they're excited about something)

I just registered for my last full semester of course work. I'm a little nervous to realize how close to academic judgement day I am. After next semester, I have one more course, my comprehensive tests--which I'm working on right now, remember--and a dissertation. Then, maybe I can get a real job in the field I was planning on entering at the beginning. Then I'll be able to do real prep for a class and be an actual faculty member instead of the student/faculty hybrid I feel like I am right now.

I also realized how short my semester is. Just over a month to finish all the stuff I have to do. On top of that, I just found out I've been scheduled to work Thanksgiving at job #2. So, once again, no family Turkey-day for me. It bums me out because we've already missed out on so many of those and it's hard to stay in touch with my relations. I really don't want to lose those connections, but I feel like that's happening. On the plus side, this is supposed to mean that I get Christmas off.

I actually felt like I got some good feedback the last time I petitioned for input/advice, so I'm going to try that again. A few posts ago, I talked about an old motorcycle my family found and suggested I could buy now rather than waiting. At the time, I turned the bike down, holding out for what I really want. After yesterday, I'm reconsidering. I spent the day at school instead of trying to work from home. It was one of my most productive days ever, but at about 1:00 I really, really wanted to go home to see my family. I had to determine if it was worth the hour round trip to spend 45 minutes with my family before I had to be back for my office hours and class. It hurt my heart, but I stayed on campus because the bike ride was just too daunting.

The way I figure, if I get the motorcycle, I'll be pushing back the timeline for getting the motorcycle I want, but it will improve the time I can spend with family and at school being productive. This is by no means an ideal motorcycle, but it is cheap transportation. I know Heidi is opposed. I know how much I want to be able to make more quality time with my family. I just don't know what to do. I would appreciate it if you would give me some advice, suggestions, and/or feedback on what you think is best for me and my family in this situation.

Edit: Don't worry about the advice. I wrecked our van and will now spend the money on that. I expect I will be giving you a more complete report of the accident later.

URE DOIN IT WRONG

One of my favorite things about the TV show Castle is how great of a relationship the main character has with his daughter. They work well together and, I would argue most importantly, she knows that he'll drop anything he's doing to come and help her out when she needs it; it's a fact he proved in at least one episode. [in the picture, he's preparing to greet his daughter's date in true mystery-writer style]

I say that to help set up what happened this afternoon. I was sitting in what we call the play room, reading for class. Marcus was on the computer and Anneke was bugging him. Honestly, this was fairly standard fare for our house.

Suddenly, I became aware of Heidi asking Marcus, "Are you making her pay you to play with her?" Things kind of devolved into a bizarre flurry of chaotic discussion, but before the dust settled, Marcus said something that stopped me dead in my tracks.

I was apologizing for not paying more attention to what was going on between him and his sister and he said, "It's okay, Dad. You're homework is more important than me telling you that Anneke is bugging me."

It's been two years, at least, since I cried like I did this afternoon.

Understand that when Heidi and I were first married that I had plans to be an actor. I walked away from that dream when we found out we were pregnant. I chose to go into teaching because I couldn't stand the thought of making a child of mine suffer while I indulged my own selfish desires. While I have to admit I've wondered about what might have been, I've never regretted the decision to put my kids over my career. Never.

I've explained this to Marcus now. I think he believes me. I hope he does. But obviously, somewhere along the line, I screwed up because he actually believed that my stupid homework was more important that what he was dealing with.

My problem is that I don't know what to do about it. I think I've overstated on my blog just how much I'm trying to juggle. I thought I had a decent balance. I don't if Marcus feels this way. But how do I fix it? How can I be the dad my kids deserve without failing my classes--the whole reason we're parked in Las Vegas in the first place? Shoot, the biggest reason I'm going through my graduate degrees the way I am is in hopes of making things better for them in the long run. But, if I lose them along the way, what was the point?

I'm really at a loss, here. I don't know how to change what I'm doing. Something needs to change, but for the life of me I don't know what or how to do it.

Please, help.